Humor and Harmony: An Interview with Girlyman

Among folk fans, quirky, Atlanta-based trio, Girlyman is as famous for their warm, funny stage patter as for their sweet harmonies and nuanced lyrics. Friends since grammar school, band mates Doris Muramatsu, and Ty Greenstein started out as a duo. After meeting solo artist Nate Borofsky, the three formed Girlyman, and since have released four albums. On tour now in support of their recent live album, “Somewhere Different Now.” Ty took time out from touring to talk about the band’s evolution.

Queerky- How long has Girlyman been together?

Ty- Almost eight years now.

Queerky- How have you developed as songwriters over that time?

Ty- Well, we’ve always been acoustic, and we’ve always done three part harmonies and we always kind of crack ourselves up during our live show. I think our songwriting has evolved just because we’re older. For myself as a songwriter, I tend to not be as obsessed with myself; I’m more interested in writing about other people and writing about the world. As a musician, I always want to branch out as much as I can.

Queerky- What’s your writing process like?

TY- I try to make at least an hour every day. I had a writing studio built in my backyard this year which is a huge thing for me. It’s been really exciting for me to just have this space to go into and to have this process that continues from day to day. If you write just every once in a while, you find the stakes are incredibly high, because if you don’t come up with something great that day you might not be able to get yourself to write again for a while. If you’re writing everyday, and one day not much happens, it doesn’t really matter because you’re going to be back in there the next day.

Queerky- Girlyman has a seemingly very personal relationship with their fans - you post personal blogs, interact on your forum. Is that a strategic career choice?

Ty- Girlyman is just us being ourselves; it’s a very real experience. We want to give people the feeling that they’re part of what we’re doing so creating that kind of presence on the website is something we make a point to do. It’s more fun for people, it creates a sense that we’re still around and we can’t wait to see you again. It’s just like keeping in touch with our family. We’re an independent band; we’re on our own record label, so we rely on the energy sustaining itself. It’s something we can’t do by ourselves, there has to be some sort of continuous growing excitement in order for us to keep doing what we’re doing.

Queerky-You started out on Indigo Girl, Amy Ray’s indie record label, Damon records, but recently went truly independent, putting records out on your own. What prompted the change?

Ty- We were becoming more interested in releasing independently, at the same time, Daemon records was reconfiguring; Amy wanted to take time and figure out what to do next, plus our contract was up anyway. At first we thought, “Gosh, how do you do this without a label?” But it’s making more and more sense for indie artists to release their own CDs. We were excited about using the internet, making it the kind of grass roots operation we were already really familiar with.

Queerky-When can we expect another studio album?

Ty- We’ll probably be doing pre-orders in spring and a wider release later on, definitely this year.

Queerky-You’ve toured with a lot of great musicians. Any favorites?

Ty- Opening for the Indigo Girls was huge for us. We grew up listening to them, so it was incredible for us personally, but also their fans were just ready for our vocal harmonies and our lyrics, they just really got it. It was exciting for us play for these relatively huge audiences and have them really be enthusiastic.

Queerky- Girlyman plays on (fellow folk singer) Chris Pureka’s new album. What was touring with Chris like?

Ty- She’s the sweetest person in the world, really funny, and also a phenomenal musician. We did a little bit of collaboration and it was just a really good fit. It always helps when you can watch the other musician and have it fire you up for your own performance.

Queerky-What interview question are you so bored with you’d rather sleep with Sarah Palin than ever answer again? Don’t spare my feelings; even if I asked it, I still want to know!

Ty-(Laughs) You totally didn’t ask it. It’s “How did you get the name Girlyman?” I don’t know if I’d sleep with Sarah Palin, but I’d definitely rather not answer that question again.

For more information including tour dates and to read their blog, check out http://www.girlyman.com

Written by Sarah Terez Rosenblum

A freelance writer with an MFA in Creative Writing, Sarah Terez Rosenblum is at work on her first novel. When not writing, she supports herself as a Starbucks barista, figure model, Spinning instructor and college teacher. Inevitably one day she will find herself naked at Starbucks or trying to brew espresso using a stationary bicycle. She’s kind of looking forward to it actually.

Culinary Fashion Sense: Does this vegetable match my protein?

So, we have pots and pans, rasps and sieves, knives and tongs. We know that buying good ingredients will make our meals taste better and might even inspire us to cook more. And now, we move on to planning your menu.

The question I get asked most, whether online or in real life, is this: how do you come up with your menu? The restaurant where I work has a chalkboard menu. That means that every day, at the beginning of each shift, we decide what people will be choosing to eat at the restaurant that night. And it changes almost every day. There is a certain, loose formula to that decision. I like to have 6 to 7 main courses and I start with the protein element of the dish. There needs to be at least one vegetarian option. There should be at least one fish or seafood dish. There is often a burger of some kind. The rest depends on what we have in the restaurant that is fresh: beef, venison, elk, ostrich, lamb, pork, scallops, halibut, tofu, and so on. Once I have decided on the protein element of the dish, I decide how to prepare it and then I pair it with a vegetable or series of vegetables. This is the part in which people seem to be the most interested. How do you DO that?

The answer is that it takes some practice. Before I worked at this restaurant I just cooked what the chef told me to cook. It was his job to figure out the menu, it was mine to cook it properly. For my first week here, the chef did the same. He wrote out the menu, gave it to me and I prepped and cooked it. Easy. I’ve done this before.

Then came the night when he called from downtown saying he was stuck in traffic and wouldn’t be back for an hour and a half. I needed to come up with one item for the menu. The rest he had already written out. I panicked. PANICKED!! WTF?? Are you kidding me? I’m not ready for this! I can’t DO this!! He made some supportive comment like, “Don’t be so retarded. Of course you can.” Then he hung up.

Thus ended my orientation and training period. From that night forward I was expected to figure out what was on the menu. I was pretty cautious and I asked a lot of questions. Does this make sense? Will this work? Is this too weird? Eventually, I came to understand that planning a menu is much like learning a language. There is vocabulary to be learned (ingredients). There is sentence structure: some adjectives (accompaniments) just support a noun (protein) a little better than another. And there is learning to be concise: a plate with too many elements is like a run-on sentence; there are too many things happening and I just can’t comprehend it all.

There are literally thousands of combinations that work when planning a menu. Many are classical: tomatoes and basil, beef and potatoes, pork and apples, fish and lemon, game meats and berries, pasta and tomato sauce, lamb and rosemary, lentils and raisins. Many are found in dishes which may come from different ethnicities. For example, a curry can have sweet potatoes, peppers, tomatoes, cauliflower, lime, nuts, cilantro, basil, sesame and coconut milk. In other words, any or all of those ingredients will work together. A South American salsa might have pineapple, peppers, red onions, tomatoes, cilantro, basil, and lime and any of those combinations will work together too. The same goes with spices and herbs. If I want to give a dish an Asian twist, I may marinade pork in soya sauce with fresh ginger and lime and a few chilies. I might pair it with a sweet potato puree because you can find sweet potatoes in a Thai curry. Maybe I’ll add sugar snap peas. And to finish the dish I’ll use Thai basil and cilantro. The dish will be far from Asian, but it will be Asian influenced. Something with a Mediterranean flair will have olives and capers, lemon and olive oil, parsley and mint. Generally, things that are grown in the same part of the world will also go well together on a plate.

I’ve been asked to end each blog with a recipe of some sort. However, for this particular blog I thought I’d try something different. Lots of people have said that they cook the same things over and over. To help get out of that rut, pick one thing that you like to eat and I’ll come up with things that would go well with it, along with a recipe for how to prepare it. That way you’ll have (hopefully) a new idea for preparing something that you like to eat. And, if many people participate, then there will also be ideas for things that other people like to eat, which may help to open up your food horizons. Include any dietary restrictions as well so I know what not to include.

Annnnd … GO!

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Written by food_geek

food_geek was once a successful finance professional. Tired of money, nice things, equity, and the possibility of retirement she decided to pursue a career in the food industry at age 35. She is now a sous chef at a small restaurant in a tiny Quebec village where she works the fry station. She looks forward to being promoted to Manager, Drive-Thru. food_geek has been cooking professionally for 30 months.

Scouts’ Honor

These days, I spend one night a week in the basement of a local church, watching six boys in blue uniform shirts and yellow neckerchiefs. I stand, hand over my heart, reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, watching my sons pause their kinetic energy briefly to salute the flag. Somehow, I am a Boy Scout Mom.

When the ultrasound midway through my second pregnancy confirmed my woo-woo hunch that both little people inside me appeared to be boys, I felt like I’d just learned I was going to visit a country where I’d never been before. My firstborn, daughter, had never been a particularly girly-girl, her one princess dress was blue not pink. So we already had the wooden trains, some trucks, and an array of plastic farmyard animals, appropriate for young farmers of any gender. I was used to a highly physical child, an early climber, fearless adventurer with trees and cats, the kind of toddler who, upon meeting a new potential playmate would knock the kid down; if they got up, she’d play with them, if they cried, she’d walk away. I thought I was ready for boys.

I looked forward to raising sons in the same sort of (relatively) gender-bias-free household I’d begun for my daughter. Despite what your Happy Meal tells you, there aren’t ‘boy toys’ and ‘girl toys’, there are just kid toys that you either enjoy or don’t enjoy. I figured that without an everyday household structure that differentiated boy behaviors and girl behaviors, I had a shot. The boys loved the play kitchen we gave them for their second birthday, although I was surprised by how many times I walked into the room to find the little purple telephone being used as a weapon (”pow-pow!”).

As they got older, and their other parent, X, left us and transitioned F to M, I’m sure our family’s discussion of boys and girls was a little different than most preschoolers’ families.

“Is Nigel a boy cat or a girl cat?” “He’s a boy cat.” “How do you know?” “Well, under all his fuzzy, he has a penis, like you do.” “But X doesn’t have a penis and he’s a boy now… you told me he’s a boy because he says he’s a boy. What if Nigel says he’s a girl cat?” Sighhhhh. Five-year-olds don’t like ambiguity. It was an interesting time.

Back when my daughter was born, I had declared No Barbies, and over the years had filled her toybox with various stuffed animals and funky soft dolls. But still the Barbies appeared, from grandparents, uncles, and especially at birthdays from her friends, ensuring her fall from innocence into a world of tiny clothes, shoes, and accessories. In the same way, my sons’ friends introduced them to a world of uniforms and weapons, as well as the idea that some things were Boy Toys, from the World of Men.

When they came home declaring that RED and BLUE were Boy Colors, their sister shot them a glare and pointed out her red shirt and blue jacket. When the dress-up clothes box got separated into one pile of hard hats, firefighter hats, and neckties, and another pile of princess dresses, high heels, and silk kimonos, I made an effort to remind all the kids playing over that it was okay to wear whatever looked like fun. My house was a place where anyone could wear a Darth Vader helmet and a Cinderella dress together. As the parent in charge of soccer trophies one Fall, I selected ones without little boy or girl figurines on them just in case there were girls who didn’t like to be reminded that their soccer skills required a pony-tail. Really, I tried.

But slowly, my kids moved more into the world, and the world crept in in odd ways. Television shows I didn’t mind at all were bookended by commercials that deeply reinforced the World of Girls and the World of Boys.

Through happenstance or temperament, my daughter moved in an existence filled with Pokemon and plastic animals. Her grandmother’s indulgence in American Girl dolls came with storybooks full of adventure and resilience. Even Girl Scouting reinforced a message of empowered self-sufficiency - camping, photography, world-awareness (okay, okay, and sewing and cooking). And the Girl Scouting organization is surprisingly inclusive, its policies written to strive for common character among personal difference. I didn’t even consider that by being a Girl Scout Mom, I’d put myself on a slippery slope to someplace I’d sworn I’d never go.

The Boy Scouts as an institution have planted their flag square on the mountain of homophobia and intolerance. They’ve spent millions of dollars to defend their right to be there, and lost millions of dollars more in support from organizations who won’t endorse their positions. Their requirement that Scouts be “morally straight” has stripped years of accomplishment and recognition from young men who later acknowledge their male lovers. It means no matter how much I love my sons, I cannot be a den leader like some of the other moms. The requirement of a belief in God would now remove my late grandfather from an organization he loved, having spent years as a Scoutmaster, leading his son and many other young men on the path to Eagle Scout. That day when the ultrasound threw us into guyville, we sat for hours and debated the circumcision decision. We were wholly united and adamant: No Boy Scouts.

What I hadn’t counted on was the day one of my sons came running out after school, yelling “Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease can I be a Cub Scout?”

Maybe for him it was an opportunity for that sense of belonging. Maybe it was the promise of events and camping. Maybe it was the spiffy uniform (this). I told him I would consider it. That night I sat and, as the Grinch would say, puzzled until my puzzler was sore. I talked with his classmate’s mom who would be the den leader, a woman who I knew and liked. She understood what the issue was, and tried to reassure me that at the local level the institutional policies had little effect on the great experience of Boy Scouting. In the end, I came to a conclusion that it’s about my son’s life, not mine, and that until I see evidence that he is being taught intolerance, we’d give it a try. At meetings, he looks sharp in his uniform. I always feel vaguely unclean.

Once his brother discovered there were snacks at the meetings, he joined up too, and I’ve watched them rise from Bobcat to Tiger to Wolf. I’ve sewed badges on shirts, and proved to them that moms can build the little wooden Pinewood Derby cars just fine. I accompanied them to Boy Scout daycamp last summer, and we all learned to shoot bb guns together (!). This is about them, not me.

It’s still awkward, though, at area-wide events with families we don’t know, when one of the other parents asks if their dad was a Boy Scout. I launch into the history of Boy Scouting on my side of the family, while inwardly wry that until my sons were four, their dad wasn’t even a boy, let alone a Boy Scout.

Beyond the registration fees, I do not give money to an organization that requires its members to be ‘morally straight’. I question my own cognitive dissonance, and bristle at the implication that I am not good enough. I’m hopeful that in a year or two they’ll move on to some other activity, guitar lessons or some sport, so my two-activity-per-kid policy lets this experience pass out of my world as fluidly as it appeared.

If not, as they get older they’re going to hear from me about the organization and its policies. They’ll have to set their own moral compass. For now, I stand, reciting, hoping someday my children get to live in a world where “liberty and justice for all” is true.

Written by Darby Blue

How do you deal with sending your kids to organizations whose policies you don’t support, such as religious organizations or even, sometimes, Grandma’s house? How do you raise kids to appreciate tolerance when intolerance is taught in so many organizations?

For those of you without children, you likely face the same issues for yourself, such as in the workplace. How do try to live your beliefs when it can be so difficult?

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