Crisis of non-faith?

[azure]

Sorry for the title, but I honestly couldn't think of a good one. Just wanted to share my experience and see if anybody could relate. For a long time, I have not had any religious affiliation. I come from a Christian background, and did attend some church and Sunday school as a kid, but my family were never consistent with it. As I grew up I realized I did not believe, it just didn't make sense to me...but sometimes I wanted to! I find myself feeling envy of those people who gets such comfort and solace and certainty from their faith, while even at the same time I don't get how anyone can believe. I feel like my life is just this perpetual stew of confusions and questions and never knowing which direction to take. How nice it would be if there were some kind of sense to it all. Of course, even feeling this way doesn't mean I believe in something. At various low points in my life I've tried very hard to believe, I've even "prayed" seriously while at the same time not believing that there was anybody/thing out there to hear. Of course the anti-religious part of me has always said that that is the reason that people fall for religions, they are vulnerable, they WANT answers and something to believe in, they want some kind of comfort and certainty. I don't want to be one of those people. But I have found myself drawn to reading the Bible lately. I can't quite understand why. Part of me wishes I'd see something in there that would make me it all make sense, and then I could stop feeling lost. Another part of me just wants to fully understand the thing I am rejecting. Just tired of feeling lost and confused and never knowing what to do. Not necessarily good reasons to find religion. I still believe it's most likely all stuff that people just made up in an effort to understand and control the world around them. I still believe there's probably no force or meaning behind all this...but that leaves me with the confusion. If there is no meaning, what is the point?

[Ordinaryfreak]

As a fellow non-believer who sometimes wishes she weren't I can't offer any explanations but I can offer hugs.

[tanowicki]

Atheists don't believe in god or a higher power or an afterlife or any of that stuff. It doesn't mean they don't believe. For instance, you can have faith in the goodness of your fellow man and still be an atheist - you just don't attribute it to the holy spirit or whatever.

Have you taken time to examine what you do believe in? Have you taken time to examine the basis of your non-belief?

[transparencies]

^ agreed.

in my opinion, god and/or religion are not the same as meaning. i think ultimately it comes down to purpose and intent. what do you believe about life and the world?

[azure]

what do you believe about life and the world?

Well, maybe that's the problem...my beliefs are pretty bleak. My faith in humanity is very shaky. Maybe I'll come back when I have more time to explain.

[seppuku]

There's far more options out there than Judeo-Islamic-Christian civilization's obsession with the dualism of either/or Theism/Atheism schizophrenia.

[Lassie]

They just don't make for interesting films.

[seppuku]

They just don't make for interesting films.


You need to stop watching the Lifetime network, sweetie.

[Lassie]

Where would any of us be without Sally Fields?

[Ordinaryfreak]

Where would any of us be without Sally Fields?

Closer to osteoporosis? :nice:

[TheyAllFallDown]

I grew up in Christian background and was brainwashed into believing the whole Jesus saves deal. Even into my adulthood, I marched in the crusades "March for Jesus", taught Sunday School, and was very active in my church. Toward the end of my activity, as i went through some transitions (What Christians call the temptations of the devil) and was educated just a little bit more about the thoughts and ideals of how Christianity came about), I was only active in my church for the community aspect. Whether I believed or not, here were people who accepted me for who I was, they were there to help me. Then an incident happened to my son one night while at a dinner function at my church. Another kid got mad at my son over some girl, and tried to kill him. He took a cable and wrapped it around his neck, and tried to suffocate/choke him to death. One of the other teens came in to get me, as I went outside, this kid saw me and ran. My son had a red mark all around his neck and was gasping for air. We went back inside, and I consulted the clergy there. What happened next is what sent me over the edge... The church people sided with this other kid as they have been trying to work with him and his behavioral problems. They wanted us just to forgive him. I wanted him to say he was sorry, and I wanted his parents to reprimand him. I have not gone back to church on my own since then. Of course, I consider myself agnostic for the time being, as well.

[knautia]

What a horrifying experience. Such matters should go directly to judicial, pass Jesus.

I do not shun anyone's faith. I do wish to share a nugget of what I got out of being dragged to church a lot by well meaning grandparents/aunts/uncles and neighbors.

I got taught that I needed to sit, stand, kneel, and say "peace be with you" at the appropriate times.

That I was not allowed to have a wafer, though my cousin was.

That every time I had a naughty thought, I needed to apologize to Jesus.

I am still apologizing to this day. To everyone, for everything. MAKE IT STOP.

[knautia]

Oh I have one more goodie. As a teen I was forced to go to "youth group" on church night that my next door neighbor dragged me to (she was a hot Danish woman and my dad was interested in her even though they were both married so they used me as a vehicle... oh yeah and she made him make me take down my Prince and Billy Idol posters which were "satanic" which I'm not still bitter about).

So at "youth group" our assignment one night was to wash each others feet so we could personally experience the love and servitude that Jesus felt for his disciples. I got paired up with a pimply lad, no surprise there. I knelt before him and tenderly washed his pods in a tub o' suds, and damn if he didn't get an obvious boner.

[Ordinaryfreak]

.

I am still apologizing to this day. To everyone, for everything. MAKE IT STOP.

My first impulse upon reading your post was to post and say I'm sorry. :worried:

Do you want to be the President or VP of your local "I'm sorry about everything in the universe even things that I have absolutely no knowledge or participation in" club?

[Ayn]

I'm agnostic but I've started going back to church. The local (all-inclusive) Methodist church has a great service during Lent called "Reboot". It's quiet and safe there. I like it.

[Lassie]

I've heard of a few people doing this lately - I'm curious about what the attraction is - is it a reevaluation of one's beliefs, or someplace to go to give a nod to whichever deity may be floating around out there? Is it a sense of community, a sense of purpose... or do they have really good coffee and cookies?

I've been trying to get myself to go find a temple somewhere, but places like these - churches and temples - they are usually close knit and family-like. Last thing I think my anxiety can handle is that many people staring at the new chick and her gf. In fact, I'd rather swallow broken glass on most days.

[lexicon]

I've been trying to get myself to go find a temple somewhere, but places like these - churches and temples - they are usually close knit and family-like. Last thing I think my anxiety can handle is that many people staring at the new chick and her gf. In fact, I'd rather swallow broken glass on most days.

This, minus "and her gf".

Not so convenient to the eastside, but I've been told it's possible to be a bit more anonymous at Neveh Shalom.

Lemme know if you want company checking them or any of the others out.

[Lassie]

That would totally rock.

[seppuku]

I want to know how to become a Scientologist.

Then I can be a movie or tv star.:idea2:

[Lassie]

You're gonna need an awful lot of money. But you get started with Dianetics.

[tanowicki]

They'll send you that for free - or at least they used to back when they advertised on tv. They have movies for free too. Find your local show times at the nearest Scientology building.

What do Scientologists call their buildings - churches? temples? hang outs? UFOs?

[seppuku]

They'll send you that for free - or at least they used to back when they advertised on tv. They have movies for free too. Find your local show times at the nearest Scientology building.

What do Scientologists call their buildings - churches? temples? hang outs? UFOs?


I don't know...but I'll bet that they started the Meetup phenomenon.

[detoxicide]

I got paired up with a pimply lad, no surprise there. I knelt before him and tenderly washed his pods in a tub o' suds, and damn if he didn't get an obvious boner.

heh, ROFL.